My life changed when I got my first blowjob. I was 18 years old and a devoted "Christian." For most of my life I was raised to believe what was put before me by my parents and family was the complete and utmost truth. Maybe that's why I'm considered "crazy" by most of them today. Nonetheless, I was a very quiet and self concious kid. By no means did I want people knowing I went to an all boys bible study every week and mandatory church on sundays. Today I'm thankful for my parents, but I was the trial and error baby. My mother had me at a very young age and my dad decided to bounce when he found out my mom was pregnat. I met him a decade later but that's for another time. My stepfather came into my life and together they raised another two younger girls, a ten year split from me. I grew up in a small hick town called Los Banos. By far the best part of high school was when I started a band called Casius at 16 years old. I grew my hair out and wore the most black I'd ever wear again. I remember our first show was at a venue called hotdog heaven. I told my mom not to go because our vocalist cursed and screamed his lungs out, it was my escape from the strict living I had at home. She showed up anyway with a video camera in hand. If you Youtube "Casius Los Banos," I'm sure you'll find it. The next 2-3 years of high school sucked dick. I made new friends and kissed everyones ass to fit in. My dad forced me to play football and I ended up being the center, the guy who has the quaterbacks hand up their sweaty ass. I never understood why there was ever a position for such a player. There must of been some homosexuality thing going on in the early creation of the sport. I hated football. I was a big pussy. Matter of fact, I hated every sport I played. I was so soft. I was afraid of everything. It's no wonder I was 2nd string for most of the time. I got my first girlfriend when I was also 16. Let's call her Sara. Sara saw me at a hardcore show and had her friend come up to me to tell me she liked me. I was shocked. Of course I didn't walk up to her, I wanted no contact whatsoever. So  this is when my inner-creep came out. I went straight to Myspace and added her. I sent her a message and that's how we started talking. I was fucking weird when I look back. I remember I would always message the hottest girls on Myspace, but when I went to school, I would purposely avoid them haha. Fuck those girls now, most of them are prego and have miserable lives still living in that shitty town. I went to Sara's house for the first time after school one day. We watched Step Brothers and she made enough pizza rolls to feed a family. I don't think we ate any of them. We were both extremely shy. The closest we got that day was playing candyland on the floor of her living room. If there were any tendencies, it was to see her boobs. She had massive boobs for such a young age. She was a cute girl but I was an extremely awkward person. I had my first kiss with her in a park down the street. Things started going downhill when I wanted to hang out with my friends more then her. She was a very sexual girl. Iwas scared. I was so embarrased of my virgin ways. Plus, I had a small penis, no confidence, and had no idea what a vagina felt like. "What would I do if she pulled my pants down?" "I wonder if she could just take her shirt off real quick?" "I'll definitely go to hell if she takes this any further." I remember she called me one day and said she admired how pretty katy perry was. "I wish I was as pretty as katy perry..." "Sara, you are pretty but....Katy Perry is hard to beat." She was heartbroken. I think she hung up and cried all night. This wouldn't be the first time, later on I would fuck up a lot of relationships from slipping the wrong words. I broke up with Sara 3 months in. She couldn't believe it. I just couldn't do it anymore. I did get to finally see her boobs and get a handjob, but that was as far as I could go. God was judging me, I needed out. I would be back to hanging with the bros and being a good ole' christian boy. I graduated high school in 2011 at 17. My parents and I moved out of Los Banos to Morgan Hill. This part of my life is when things changed drastically. I started college at west valley college. My parents couldn't afford university and I was pissed, I wanted so much to have that "university lifestyle." I would make up for it all with 2 years of travel and nonstop partying. That's when shit gets crazy. West Valley was cool because it had the hottest girls from the bay area who couldn't get into universities. I was a different person starting college. I was very motivated and was at the peak of my physical attraction. I was on a strict diet and worked out every fucking day. A lot of people nowadays want to say they work out for themselves, but fuck that, it's all about making a statement of your self. You all want to be looked at. The most insecure women are the hottest. I started college and pursued business. For whatever reason, I was all into stocks and becoming somesort of business guru. I forked out $600 for a Tony Robbins Seminar one time. I also bought every book with Warren Buffet's name on it. I had this idea of being the top trader in NY, wearing Armani Suits and driving an Aston Martin. That's what I wanted out of college. I began trading stocks and made some thousand dollars off Aflac and Bank of Nova Scotia. I might still have stock now thinking about it. In college I took an art history class. All of my other classes had no hot girls except this one. I was pretty good looking guy then, but still very insecure. Still set on abstinance. One day I would interact with this girl, lets call her, Jenae. She was a babe. She did have odd little sausage fingers though. Her and I would soon be study buddies. I was really into her. Big eyes, nice skin, round ass, every guy in the class wanted her. She introduced me to her best friend at the time, let's call her Dolly. Dolly and I started to hang out more without Jenae. I didn't see much of it besides close friends. She had a personality that was very attractive compared to Jenae. Plus she was somewhat christian. We started dating but kept it fairly low key. I would later lose my so sacred virginity to this girl and get awesome blowjobs in the back of her 4 Runner. For another time